Just Because

Shannon and I were driving (with our wild dogs in the backseat) to Uclulet for a fabulous Black Rock Resort wedding (more on that to come). We tend to get all Thelma and Louise, when we're on the road. We got talking.

I had bought her a pendant a few days prior. A"Party Girl" pendant. It was supposed to be for Christmas.

I looked in my wallet, while Thelma was behind the wheel... "I got you a present!!!!" and gave it to her. We had a good laugh and got to talking about how we can't ever wait for Christmas, and how I am the queen of ruining surprises. I can't keep secrets either. If I have a present for you...you can be pretty sure, it will be tucked away somewhere clever, hiding. Then, the moment I see you, I have to root around and dig it out and give it to you rather enthusiastically. Just because.

In my mind, just because is right now. Just because means you are standing in front of me, and I love you. I thought of you, I got you something. I need to give it to you right now. Because these Thelma and Louise adventures happen, and have been happening for a while now... we are at the point that we rationalize instant gift giving, early Christmas spoiling etc, by knowing, that life is short. Life is fragile, and there are absolutely no guarantees of a tomorrow. Bryce hates that I talk like this, but I do it anyways. I believe it. Because of this, the party girl necklace brought a laugh and a smile to my friend Thelma. It is not sitting in a bag in my closet, waiting for Christmas.

I like Christmas, I just like it better, when its every day. When its giving, just for the joy of giving, and when you spread love... just because you can.

(Thought these images suiting, as no one knows how to live in the moment, and be totally wild, like Sako and Frank) Sako fights back!

With love from Mexico

No, I'm not crazy enough to be working from Mexico... really. But, I do feel the need to quickly share my favorite photo ever, of my little girl (so far). Soon, I'll be home, in the much cooler climate... but for now, another cool drink in the hot sun. Hope this image, brings a smile to your face. It certainly does for me.

Covered in Peace

Reflecting on our blessings. Fortunate. Appreciative.

Moments. Quiet, still... delicate moments. Hold you captive, without trying. There are sounds, maybe crickets or fans, muffled by the walls, the trees the night.

The only thing I hear though, right now, is peace.

It's quiet in my house.

My baby and her daddy tucked safely in their beds. My puppy curled up in his bed, beside ours. Remnants of the day, scattered around the house. Not immaculate. It looks like life. Our Life.

Pieces from the story board of our days, today and lately. Photographs on the walls, memories soaked into the air within the walls.

It will not always be this quiet. Thankfully a baby will chat herself awake in the morning, our pup will bark at the neighbor coming home. Another day will happen.

But, for tonight... for now... I'm covered in peace. Bathing in quiet.

Doing the right thing

I question everything. Its my nature. I question myself, my choices, my motives. Am I doing the right thing? It's just how I roll. Throw in a title such as "mother" and questioning becomes a whole new playing field.

I believe that its the responsibility that gets me. The pressure. Good lord the pressure.

Will she be strong, will she know she's loved, even if I let her cry for a bit in her crib. Even if we carry on with the sleep training. Even if she did sleep through the night last night, and might even do it again tonight. Will she know we still love her, and would cut off limbs if it would ensure that her life would be full, and long, and incredible. Will she be a good person, will she always know how to laugh, have fun and be amazing. Will she want to dance around all wild, or will she be serious. Will I screw her up. Or if I don't will someone else mess her little life up.

There. I said it. Isn't that what we all fear? Anyone raising people, children, little souls, who are perfect little beings at birth. Knowing all the mysteries of the world. Innocent, open, amzing. Will we screw them up. If I feed her sweet potatoes, or formula, or butternut squash from a jar, or homemade applesauce... will that make her better and healthier? If she plays with Sophie the Giraffe, or pots and pans... will one make her stronger, more aware, more alive? Will having the B.O.B stroller, or the Ergo carrier ensure that she has a full and adventurous life. Does the brand of her baby shoes really matter. Will she care if she is in baby GAP or organic cotton. Does any of this matter, really. Honestly. Will having designer bed sheets make her a more rounded, caring and compassionate human being. What if her sheets are from Wal-Mart??

I don't believe it really does matter. Again, I question everything. I'm not going to lie. I like my B.O.B stroller, think its awesome. It travels great on trails, it is so easy. But, does having it make me a better person than someone with a different brand. Does it make me "outdoorsy" or "sporty" or "cool". Nope. I think, what makes you cool, or even awesome is what you "do".

Do you read stories, ride bikes, explore the world, make crafts, bake cakes, or garden late at night by the headlights of your car lighting up your yard? Do you teach children to be compassionate and kind and generous? I know that we all do our best. We try. Because I know this, I will likely not look at a new mom and say something like "why does your mommy give you that silly soother in your mouth", or "why would she put barrettes in your hair", or "oh, you're feeding her formula", or "oh, she sleeps in bed with you" or "isn't she sleeping through the night". You might not catch me saying those things to anyone. Now, I think I'll be less likely to judge moms. Who am I? How do I know?

Right now, I feel like I need a badge that says "NEW MOMMY. GO EASY ON ME". We do our best, don't we? Maya Angelou says, when we know better, we do better. So I'm hoping to know better and do better as much as humanly possible.

Tonight, I'm going to hope that Maisie sleeps through the night again. (Yes, I said again) I hope that I learn gently from my mistakes and that each time I learn, I have the ability to humbly admit it and move on, guilt free. I'm new and I'm trying, and I hope that Maisie will learn to overlook my shortcomings as a human being and mother, and teach me how to always strive to do the right thing.

And that... for sure, is enough out of me for one day!!

A new bio

The other day I was trying to write a new bio. Lets face it, everyone writes their own bio. I'm not fooling anyone. Mine has been the same on my website since the beginning of time. It's time for change. Clean slate.

So, good... decision made, new bio. Ok great. Now what. The cursor blinking rhythmically on the blank screen in front of me.

Who am I? Why am I Erin Wallis. What makes me, me. Oh lord, someone help me. Lets face it, writing your own bio is not fun, cool or awesome. If you love writing your bio, you are clearly crazy. Where do I start? Erin Wallis is a photographer. Erin Wallis is a new mom to a little girl, Maisie. Erin Wallis was pregnant last year, used to work on cruise ships, used to lifeguard, used to teach swimming lessons, at one point did volunteer work in South America. Does that make me Erin Wallis? Maybe what you've done can define you. The truth is, I think that where you come from helps define who you are in the present. A past can help define what you love, how you see, how wide or how small your view is. Yes, I believe that... but am I my past?

That last poor excuse for a paragraph is the reason why this process is so painful for me. I over think it. Instead of just spitting it out. What do you need to know about me? Better yet, what do you want to know about me? I have no idea. At the moment, I am sitting in my office in my beautiful studio behind my house, sun streaming in through the window. I have lulu's on, flip flops with socks (NOT joking but no one was supposed to see me and I certainly wasn't supposed to announce it to the internet), I am listening to Adele, and drinking a latte. I'm dreaming up ideas about upcoming mini sessions, a new holiday card collection, about to continue editing and tying up loose ends from my last few weddings, all while Bryce is out in the sunshine with our little girl and dog. That is me, right now. So professional.

I'm not sure what might be interesting for a bio. But I do know me. Right now. A little bit of the present, a little bit of the past wrapped up in a super quirky package. There you have it. Not that you've asked, but....

I am a firm believer that love is art, that anything is possible and that you have the ability to design and create your own life. I have a peaceful heart. I eat nectarines in the shower, oatmeal cookies in the bath, and love to walk my dog in the rain. I live in a renovated 100 year old home. I like new houses, I just don't want to live in one. I like things with stories, be it an heirloom ring passed down from generations or a special stone found on a beach in your favorite far away land. I'd rather something be "ugly" with an amazing story, than be "pretty" with no substance. I love the sea. I love to think that when I see a dragonfly float in the air around me, it is my old friend Mady paying me a little visit. As a child, my favorite toy was a wooden Buddha doll. I brushed his teeth and he was my best friend. I like beach fires, mermaids, sour candy, and veggies straight out of the garden. When I was pregnant (last year) with my little girl Maisie, I saw rainbows everywhere. Maisie is my little girl, a little peach and my kindred spirit. Maisie's daddy is my favorite man alive. I have traveled all over the world, seen the Great Pyramids of Egypt, stood inside the Sistine Chapel, ate lunch outside the Eiffel tower, wandered through Monet's garden and bought wool and wine in Chile. I've had coffee in Turkey, sat in massage chairs in Japan, and I once skipped out on visiting the Great Wall of China to buy the Soprano's box set in a crazy seedy downtown Beijing market. I like to think that the world is good, that my baby will one day sleep through the night and that my friends are also my soul mates. I like fresh air, big skies and a room with a view. I choose to see beauty everywhere.

Now, you try it! (but first, have a peek at my little peach, in a bucket) Us. Self Timer. Coombs Market.